Back to work...

Well, the time has come. I am headed back to work on Monday. Part of me is dreading it: leaving my babies, having to get up at 5 AM, dressing up, dealing with other people, more responsibility, being gone 20 hours. Part of me is excited: adult interaction, getting to show off pictures of my babies to some friends, having my Mom who is taking care of my kids while I am away, only working 1 full day and 2 half days each week. During my maternity leave, I have had many opportunities to consider why I work. Some of the reasons are completely selfish, like getting out of the house a couple days during the week. One of the main reasons I work is because I provide the insurance for myself, Matthew and Ella. Working in the medical field has allowed us to have 2 children and only pay our deductible for their deliveries/hospital stays. I know many people who do not have this luxury and I know we are blessed. Part of me wishes I could be a stay-at-home mom, the part that misses my kids like crazy everyday when I leave for work... this is also the part of me that has dissipated by the time Ryan gets home on the days when I don't work. I know being a mom is the hardest job I will ever have and I admire the women who do stay at home with their children. A larger part of me knows that being able to have some adult interaction and provide a small portion of my family's income for me is the right decision. I am probably typing this more to convince myself of this than anyone else. I do know that I am so blessed to be in the field I am, where I am allowed the flexibility to choose where/when I work. I know going back to work is going to be difficult... maybe even more this time than with Matthew because we do not plan to have anymore children and I will never again have this long of a stretch of time to spend at home with my kids. However, I also know that my kids are in the best possible care and even after a long day on the job I come home refreshed and excited to play with them and be the best possible Mommy I can be!
Hope you have a great week!