Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Some random thoughts...




Today, I found out one of my dear friends from high school is pregnant with her 2nd baby. Her children will be 16 months apart. Needless to say, she is slightly overwhelmed and experiencing many of the same feelings I had a few months ago. There were so many questions like: What would I do if both kids were crying at the same time? I had anxiety about what would happen if Matthew got hurt while I was caring for Ella. I had nightmares about losing my babies in a crowded place. There were moments when I wondered why God chose me for this and although I typically consider His sense of humor amusing, I was not the slightest bit amused.

When Ella was born I remember the first night at the hospital having this feeling that I could not breathe. I knew I could breathe and I knew there was nothing physically wrong with me, but I was definitely on the verge of a panic attack. The nurse brought Ella in and once I had her in my arms, I was just fine. That was the first of several new experiences for me.

I also had post-partum blues with Ella. I did not have one ounce of the blues with Matthew. I never cried or was weepy. I was out walking around the block within a couple days of having a c-section. I really didn't feel like my life was altered that much other than I was able to bring this beautiful baby boy along with me wherever I went and have people gush over him. It was a little different experience this time around. I was not weepy until we came home from the hospital. I was still having moments of anxiety and I felt like I didn't know how to manage my time between my children. My recovery was much more intense this time... probably because I didn't do what I was told. I hurt much longer than I remember hurting with Matthew and my incision did not heal as well this time. I can't really describe it other than to say that I felt completely overwhelmed and inadequate for several weeks following Ella's arrival. I was so happy to see that pass and I can definitely empathize with women who struggle for longer than I did.

After we made the initial adjustments and I realized that both babies were going to cry at the same time and Matthew was going to throw a fit when I had to feed Ella for the 10th time that afternoon, I started to settle into a routine. I began to realize that I didn't have to be supermom. I didn't have to feel guilty when I needed to have a break for 10 minutes (I remember one day saying to Ryan when he came home for lunch, "I am going to get the mail, I will be back in 1 hour"). I didn't have to get the final dishes put in the dishwasher before bed... they would certainly still be there in the morning. I didn't have to feel bad that I looked forward to naptime, or date night, or coffee with a girlfriend. All my kids really needed was for their mommy to love them unconditionally and I have done that the best way I can.

I cannot believe Matthew is 18 months old and Ella is already 3 months old. I know we will look back at this time and laugh at how crazy it was. I know we will laugh at how naive we were only a few short months ago. I know I will laugh as I think of myself trying to get in and out of places with 2 little babies (I am sure other people are laughing at me as they watch)... but what I am most thankful about is that I am laughing along the way. I love being a mommy to 2 of the most precious little faces I have ever seen, and I can't wait to see where this ride takes us next (it will not be to a 3rd child... unless God REALLY has a sense of humor)!
As I think of all the other mommies out there who are struggling to try to figure out this crazy roller coaster called parenthood, I hope we all can just enjoy the view from the top and hang on tight because it's bound to be a wild ride! Have a great day!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Mary Kay


Well, I am officially a Mary Kay consultant... Even as I type this, I am not sure what I was thinking! I am hopeful that this little venture will be a chance for me to meet a few new people and perhaps make a little money as well. The best part is that I have always used MK products and will receive a nice discount for selling them. Don't worry, I won't be hounding you to buy from me... I hate that. I may send you an occasional email or letter in the mail, but will hopefully be able to mainly go with word of mouth. If you know anyone who needs a MK lady, give them my name!


In other news, Matthew had his 18 month check-up today. He is 27.5 pounds (75 percentile) and 34.5 inches tall (90th percentile). He and Ella both have shots in the morning (pray for Mommy).
I have also had a spurt of energy devoted to their scrapbooks over the last couple weeks. I have done about 15-16 pages total and am almost caught up! I am so happy to be on the ball for once with their memory books. By the way, I LOVE my Cricut!
Have a great week!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

YMCA Musings

Well, we joined our local YMCA a few weeks ago and let me tell you I always leave there with a story to tell. We are so thankful for our Y membership and have been utilizing it almost everyday (at least one of us). Here are a couple things that have happened since we joined the Y:

1. One day, there was a man on the treadmill next to me who smelled so strongly of B.O. that I nearly passed out. I was so paranoid that someone would think it was me, so I cut my workout short and moved to a different machine.

2. Today, there was a woman on the treadmill running > 8 mph. I am pretty sure some vehicles do not move that fast! She was flying!!!! I am going to stick with going around 6 mph for safety sake.

3. Once, when I stepped on a treadmill the woman beside me leaned over and said, "You might want to wipe that down, there have been 2 people on it who didn't wipe it off." I am not sure why some people do not think the rules apply to them. If you touch the machine, you are then entitled to wipe it off!

4. Our Y has a childwatch program where I can drop Matthew and Ella off while I workout. I LOVE IT! It is so nice for them to get to play with other kids and Mommy doesn't have to feel guilty for getting in a good workout. I found that trying to workout at home with them here is about impossible! However, it is almost as much of a workout for me to get both of them into the building as it is to complete a workout!

5. We have taken Matthew swimming in the pool several times and he is loving it! He even will jump off the side into Daddy's arms. We are thinking about taking a swimming class this spring. The only downfall I can see to the pool so far is that he thinks the bathtub is also his own personal swimming pool which makes for large messes sometimes! He got in the tub with his clothes on the other day while Daddy stood there and watched! That was a soggy diaper!